Morality Studies Pillows

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Nun Binning the Devil

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Trump Bible photo op

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

'Is there anyway that I could specialize in corporate law and still be one of the good guys.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"We share values, … which is why neither of us has a full set."

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

Aesop's Fables - The Lion and the Mouse

It was dawning on Ed that maybe his conscience wasn't such a good guide after all.

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

'Do you have any preexisting conditions, like sloth, gluttony, pride, lust...'

'Just say no to stem cell research.'

Devil vs Angel Duel.

"It's a new tally board I've been using. For every random act of kindness I perform, I allow myself three really spiteful acts of nastiness!"

"Quit whimpering."

What Kind of God

"Look kid, you can't blame everything you do on me."