Monstrous Money Maestro Gifts

"A local retail survey shows holiday sales were flat...but the consumer cash meter hit an all-time high...while the holiday confidence index took a three-point dip."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Profit

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Now this is my kind of green!'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

U.S. Credit Rating

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"I'm allergic to money. But luckily they've got antihistamines for that."

Wealth Juggler.

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

wealth investment

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

Charles Addams.

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''