Money Maverick Pillows

'Bathing in money is fun once, but you've been doing it for a week now. You're starting to get a little ripe.'

"Nothing to worry about, Miss Cavendish. This is a 'can't-miss' investment."

'It does grow on trees!'

'Wait a minute....!

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"I am diversified. I have stocks, lottery tickets and pyramid schemes."

"What do you mean 'It's only money'?"

Trouble at the U.S. Federal Reserve.

'Your money is deposited to your account automatically and is paid out automatically. At the moment, I'm sorry to say, it's out.'

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"Insufficient funds? Me or the bank"

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

"So, let me get this straight... You want to pawn your pawn ticket?"

Investments: Past performance is no guarantee, because life isn't always fair.

Your credit score is hahahahahahahah.....

Paradise Papers

"This course covers deceptive student loans, bankruptcy laws and revenge."

Throwing away your disposable income

'I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid you're overdrawn.'

Dear Sir, today I did something that will yield high returns, but is fiscally naughty.

Investments. Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your money.

No Frills financial advisor: "Don't get caught."

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

'No can do, pal.'

"Just tell him it's 'other people' as in 'other people's money.'"

'Want it all' queue in a bank.

"They approve of 'greed' down here, so they let me take my portfolio with me."

That stock we bought at 100 is back up to 20.

Bank: Win Win.

'Can you help block my benevolent impulses?'

Elvis Impersonator eating money burger.

Great Chinese Dynasties