Money-making Strategist T-Shirts

'I used to hate spam until I figured out how to make $78,000,000 sending it.'

'The trouble with me is, I'm too busy to make money.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Will work for ETFs

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'The recession is over, again.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

"I just..."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'The market shifted on me.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Reverse Mortgage.