Monday Night Football Fan T-Shirts

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Uptight End"

Centaur Forward

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'It's a shame you lost every last ball in the rough, Ed, but we're glad to have you back.'

Jenga!!!

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Football Violence

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Referee cop.

Red Card - Gold Card.

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

"Go deep!"

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"