Modern Masculinity Critic T-Shirts

'So much for the new, re-constructed man.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Vendor selling testosterone.

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Early Man Late Man

Down With Wikipedia

"Tarzan no want computer."

Daily Routine

"Real men cry these days....."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"I hate shaking hands with him, he always squeezes as hard as he can!"

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

A beach has meters.

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.

Medical Bracelet

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."

"Power! Power!"

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

I saw that! Saw what? You just had tears in your eyes. The end of the movie made you cry! Did not. Why not just admit it? What's the big deal? It was a sad movie and you cried. It happens to everyone. You think you're above normal emotions? Are you better than the rest of us?! No. Fine, okay. It was sad. Maybe my eyes were a little moist. Girly man! Look at the crying girly man! Can't win.

"...And my Dad never gave me his approval. Which is why I try so had to be a perfect male specimen."

Crocodile Tie

"I forgot to call in dead."

Kingdom of Heaven- Exact Change Only

'Are they street legal, and do you have some insecurity thing going on?'

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"I have to take it back to the shop and throw it away."