Modern Life Escapists T-Shirts

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Tree house.

"Did you get my tweet?"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

'Let's get a kitty.'

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

Virtual Lap Dancing

Danger Quicksand

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"I love talking to you about my problems. We should do a podcast."

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

Houdini 2019

"The latest version of your life is now available to download."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

"Sorry. Full."

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

"A tattoo? You're kidding. It sure looks like a suit."

"This is weird . . . I haven't got a single text or email in the past three minutes."

No Smoking in the Castle

"That satellite that constantly tracks our position on earth to within fifty feet recommends that we get out more."

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"