Modern Farmer Humorist Prints

'For deliveries press the hatch key.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

A Tongue Stud.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.