Modern Family Juggler Gifts

'Mia has three kids from her first marriage, one from her second, and two from her third. I've got four from my first marriage, one from my second, two from my third and one from my fourth. For our marriage, Mia and I have decided to cool it.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Save us!'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"First break since 2008."

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

Acclaimed mother.

Baby On Boardroom

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

Balancing Family and Work

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - You'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

Beyond Dante

'Don't wait up, I'm going out on field research for about 3 years!'