Modern Family Humor T-Shirts

iDad.

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"Yes, I invested in a safe and security system. I got sick and tired of our kids taking my phone chargers and losing them."

"Use your inside scream."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

'Mom, I need a push.'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

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Feeding the baby

"Dad, can you read?"

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'