Modern-day Transcendentalists Pillows

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"Herb's from Texas."

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"You're on mute."

'Let there be cool.'

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Hip hop Santa.

Crystal Ball Plug

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

Two of everything on Noah's ark.

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'I'm not going to bore you with a long sermon to-day - here's one I recorded earlier...'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'I downloaded them from heaven.'

Mobile.

Vision Board: If you're reading this, it's not too late.

Elephant Upgrade

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'I was happier as a caterpillar'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Nativity pizzas

Ralph Waldo Emerson

'-and don't forget your mobiles tomorrow - we shall be texting Santa!'

Cowboys playing guitar video games.