Modern-day Jack Pillows

'The packet says 'do not climb without safety harness'.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Giggle.

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

Work Life Balance.

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

William Hague as Churchill.

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

Vendo Tree.

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

Feed & Grain. Credit Cards and E-Payments Only. Being a cash cow is tougher than it used to be.

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"I wouldn't know if it was just picked. We farm out the actual farming"

No, not buried treasure ... "X" marks the spot with the best wi-fi reception.

"For the last time, there is no virus under your bed."

GREENLAND

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

Although skeptical at first, Emma was beginning to see the benefits of bluetooth beacons in her shopping experience.

'Oh, yes, he's patriotic alright - only uses the Red Lion, the White Hart and the Blue Boar!!'

'Food? Do you think I'm the kind of mother that cooks?'

Santa tries talking to kids with screen addictions.

"Tell me again about how I can shop online and have gifts delivered without leaving my office."

Pirate digging for treasure at computer icon on island.