Modern Dating Fan Prints

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

"She's just being Koi."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Let's do lunch.'

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Joe Hundredaire

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Do you really care or are you just being a good listener?"

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

"I'm so shallow."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

'Would it be too forward of me to give you a tweet?'

"We need to text about our relationship."

"I think she's fully committed to me - She got an 'I'm with stupid' TATTOO!"

'The lemon ice cream is delicious. What about yours?'

'I'd invite you in, but I've given up jackasses for Lent.'

"Like, weirdest date ever, last night, he kept trying to make eye contact!"

"Love means sacrificing your swiping hand."

Romantic LED-lit Dinner