Modern Car Critic Prints

The development of cars.

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

The Hybrid

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

2020 Panic Room

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

"You know how it is. Some days you like to drive,some days you like to be driven."

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

"That rotten smell? That's my spoiler."

"Your car is always in the shop because it has a problem with its auto immune system."

"I cant stand all this modern housing."

Discussed on Car Talk

'You've slept with your new car every night for a week. When's the newness wear off!'

Football anagrams: Honest John's (Answer: Seth Johnson.)

The Government car-share scheme gains wide support!

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

'These baboons from the local safari park claim they can get us any car part we want for a price.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

"Good question. On the surface, it's a dainty, attractive car! But undernearth, it's nothing but guy...a touch of friskiness mixed with subtle power!"

The classic car has fins and the modern race car has a wing. Just like nature - Fish came before birds.

Speed Bump

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

Thoughts in Traffic

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'