Comedy Car Critic Prints

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'Told you so.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

'Power steering.'

No U-turns

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Driving a Lemon.

Clown Airbags.

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

Parking? I don't think so.

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'