Modern Art Appreciator Pillows

Plastic surgery is a scream.

Do Not Sneer.

"Your unfinished Pollock is very nice, but wouldn't it look better on the wall?"

"Earthquake? You need Tracy Island, this is Tracy Emin Island."

'Bacon? It's more like squashed sausages!'

'Look as an artist, you're awful but if we tell no one, we'll make a fortune.'

Ivan Bunin

Myopic art gallery visitor.

Magritte character has apples hanging from hat like corks, Australian-style.

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

People admire a freshly painted wall

"It's a Citroen Picasso..."

The table is doomed to repeat itself.

The chief said ix-nay on your bobblehead idea.

Contemporary Furniture. This is an accent table. No wonder I'm having trouble understanding it.

"Dude, why can't I pinch to zoom?"

Ask me why this isn't funny

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Well....I could've done this!"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Misunderstood artist

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Projectile painting.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Picasso: The Early Years

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Cats at private view

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."