Mocking Mouser Pillows

'No wonder these are bland...they're toys!'

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

"Someone to collect your works, dear."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'Come, Darling! Let us give in to our most primal urges!'

A Dummy Corporation.

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

Moo! Honk! Don't stoop to their level Henry!

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

Two Years into a Trump Presidency...

"I'm betting you don't buy that eye of a needle crap..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

Woman's dog has escaped into a mousehole.

'Oh, he's not mean. He thinks it makes him look macho.'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'I'd like to apologize if my remarks have offended anybody, or if any remarks I may make in the future ever DO offend anybody.'

Freak Show

"Immortality"? Ah, unlimited minutes!

'But what if I'm wrong...?'

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Jesus' bones.

"Tia Carmen, can you help me?" No matter how hard I try, my imagination can't bring my Spider Monkey to life."

'There's a load of rubbish on the T.V. again.'

First Principle of Human Crankiness

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs

'Do you think this apeing of the opposition will go down well in the country?'

Portrait pulling a face at artist.

'Oh, nothing much…just killing things. And yourself?'

BNP candidate - 'Can I rely on your not voting?'

Guess who?

'Yeeesss, goood kitty, Now can we eat'

Gala Benefit