Mocking Maestro Prints

A Dummy Corporation.

Portrait pulling a face at artist.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Orchestra.

"Textin’"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Twitter censorship

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Charles Addams.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

Children playing in the street

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Edgar Allan Poe

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

'My Death Story....chapter one...'

Surgical intervention on Emoticons

Adam with a selfie stick

Dara O' Briain

"But this way I know where everything is."

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

Questioning

Air catarrh.

"Because of your age, I'm going to recommend doing nothing."