Mixology Maestro T-Shirts

"I'm a big fan of your work."

Let the good times roll.

"You know how to make a painkiller?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Mozart on a computer,

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Mini Bar

Join me in a Caiprinha!

The Four Tops in Concert

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Hip-hop cops on stage.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Corpse Reviver Number 2

Bar Therapy

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

The Poet.

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

Recording Studio

Just married.

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

You can never over garnish!

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

"Shaketh."