Mixing Maestro Gifts

'I see you've got Billy scrubbing the decks again.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Mozart on a computer,

"An everything Martini, please."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Veloci-Rapper

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

The Four Tops in Concert

Hip-hop cops on stage.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

Pollsters

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

The Poet.

Just Stop Oil Painting

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

Recording Studio

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

'Managers karaoke night'

Samantha Fish

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

'I see ol' bug-eyes is back.'

Annoucement

Tom Waits.

Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa? What order would best simulate sincerity? Very bad man.

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

'Fantastic! Stupendous! Masterly! Mind blowing! Polished! Unbeatable! Amazing! Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

Moon crooner