Misunderstanding Mediator T-Shirts

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'

'I'm Alan, the chronically misunderstood employee...'

She - Interpreter - He.

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

Collective Psyche

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"At least we agree to disagree."

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."