Mistake Empaths Pillows

Pole vaulter has had an accident on jump

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

Can't even hold signs well.

The Female Brain and The Other One

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

Super glue . . .

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

"No, it's twist and THEN turn."

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

"Get a hold of yourself, Jerry! We ALL knew the risks we were taking with the new corporate motto. When you care, it's easy to get hurt!"

No safe haven

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I have to go out and I hate to leave her all alone in the house — she looks anxious..." "He's going out again and I can't go. He'll be out there with total strangers — he looks worried..."

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

"I just can't see or hear what you are saying."

"John, the bees go on the outside."

Hidden away, deep in the woods, Bob enters a number in the wrong column. An isolated mistake.

'I wish I could be your boss for a week and you could be the secretary.'

'It's one of the worst parts of the job. Seeing people in the most awful conditions. Cold, squalid, not fit for human habitation...It's no wonder we can't keep the staff.'

"People don't agree on PRECISELY the right language but it's generally agreed that 'humongous lardy fat lump' is probably overstepping the mark."

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'

'Half the cabinet went to top schools and top universities, so what do they know?'

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart but it's nothing to be concerned about. All liberals have enlarged heart, to make room for others.'

"You can make your own mistakes when you can hire your own lawyer."