Mission Statement Maven Mugs

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

"Well, apparently a mission statement and a value statement are not the same thing."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Direct Marketing...

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Trade Show Sherpas

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Time Out For Teddy

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding