Misheard Lyrics Fan Prints

Deck the halls with boughs of challah...

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

Hospital ER. My CD player malfunctioned! And now there's a song stuck in his head!

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

"Is that enough off the top?"

'Ronan Keating just called - but it was a wrong number!'

Occupational Hazards of Playing the Harp.

Bar Association. What a disappointment. It has nothing to do with either beer of candy.

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

The Off-Tones

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

"To hell with you, too."

'I specifically said 'Jaws of life.''

"You fool! I said pillage! Pillage and burn!"

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

"Who the hell is Sue?!"