Misfit Golfer Pillows

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'He lived and died for golf.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

'I knew it! Come back here!'

'Do you mind if I play through?'

Wait, I think I'm doing this backward.

When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

Using Science In Fashion Design

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

Golfing Accident

'You told me to address the ball, so I did!'

The 19th hole

2042

Golfer putting into whale's blowhole.

"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

'To control his blood pressure, his doctor said he needs to take his medication, watch his diet and improve his golf game.'

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

How to tell you're playing a low budget golf course.

Observing a hydnoraceae on the 14th, Professor Brinley sportingly pitched rather than putted.

Books. Ernest Hemingway Festival. Did you read Hemingway's book "Across the River and Into the Trees"? No. I didn't even know he played golf.

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

Pirate Flag on Golf Course.

"That's not a divot so much as a major geological event."

Doctor has put a golfing glove not a surgical glove on.

'And now time for operation: Hit golf balls into windows!'