Mischievous Matchmaker Prints

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

Soulmates.

'Anyone for doubles?'

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

'That's amazing. According to the computer, I'm your perfect match!'

'Do I know you?'

'Fortysomething. Is that your age or waist size?'

'You'll 'ave a lovely Christmas in ere, son. Just don't go too near the mistletoe.'

'Maybe you set your ideals too high, Karen...'