Mischief Makers Pillows

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'I didn't say it was arson - I said it was OUR SON!'

'What do you mean you're not Dave?'

'Lefty Was Here'

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

'Go on, I'm sure Master won't mind if you eat the Baby's birthday cake...'

'Tonight's guest is Sid Granger, who s going to talk about a recent trip Down Under...'

'Only you could do that to an ATM!'

Students at Watertown High discovered that the tubing from Chem Lab was perfect for bungee jumping.

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Trapeze Artist Pulls Trousers off Partner.

'Now I see why they call it a 'litter'.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Be careful running through the house. Mom installed speed bumps!'

Another myth de-bunked.

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

'okay...where did you hide it?'

'When you're a little old lady living with me, you'll be seeing a lot of this corner!'

Man lies online saying that he is not married and his wife hits him over the head with her rolling pin.

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Flower jumps back into its pot when a lady walks into the room.

'Gilbert thought the man said 'stand up' instead of 'shut up'.'

"This'll teach him to chase us up trees."

"Dinosaur tipping"? Are you crazy?!

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

I don't know what he put in our bodies, but it's going right back in his coffee.

Where's my nephew, Rudy? Haven't seen him in weeks. He just texted me a minute ago. He said "the elf army let us go. I ran into my old buddy. Russian contact arranged boat to motherland … Please feed all my Sims." If that's not his idea of guy-code for "don't bother me, I'm getting lucky," he's probably had a stroke or something. Oh no, then it had to be a stroke!

"Let's see... I think we'll ignore our food, lick ourselves, then knock these flowers onto the floor."

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"Relax. As soon as you get over your fear of heights you're gonna love this."

"My dad ate my homework."

Toilet Paper