Mirthful Philosopher T-Shirts

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Plymouth Rock

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'How did he make the world in six days?'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

The Meaning of Life

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'And everybody expects me to be happy, which only makes things worse!'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'

'I had multiple personalities.'

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."