
Hey boss, it's April 13th. A couple years ago, you said come back April 13, 2015, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out onto the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.