Mining Humor Fan Pillows

"He's my service animal."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

You can't get what up

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Deadwood 25 miles

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

A Little Mistake.

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

'Why do you want a chimney sweep anyway? You're all electric...'

Some gentlemen preparing for a hunt

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

Servant girls wishing to leave because the soldiers have moved from Knightsbridge.

At a Smoking Concert.

Men resting.