Minimalist Diner Mugs

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"For drinks or dinner?"

Dali Chooses a Lobster

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Linguini for two?"

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"You need a hobby."

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."