Mini Story Critics Gifts

"Have you chosen your bedtime story yet, Tommy?"

Edgar Allen Poe

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Tabletop Theatre

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Small child checks out a book.

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

'This history paper is about an event that happened a long time ago, but in the great scheme of things isn't all that important, making this report very short. The end.'

Nikolai Gogol

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

It happened on Christmas Eve

"Yep, that's it - seven pages, I only write what I know."

Machado de Assis

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'What is she thinking? Cloth diapers are soooo out of style this season.'

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

If it were today. . .

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

"With their short attention spans, we've gone from epic poetry to limericks."

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

"Thanks for the birthday gift, but what will I do with a gift card to a toy store?"

'It's a load of something, alright.'