Mini Story Critics Gifts

"Have you chosen your bedtime story yet, Tommy?"

Edgar Allen Poe

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Tabletop Theatre

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Small child checks out a book.

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

'This history paper is about an event that happened a long time ago, but in the great scheme of things isn't all that important, making this report very short. The end.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Nikolai Gogol

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

It happened on Christmas Eve

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'What is she thinking? Cloth diapers are soooo out of style this season.'

"Yep, that's it - seven pages, I only write what I know."

Machado de Assis

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

If it were today. . .

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

"With their short attention spans, we've gone from epic poetry to limericks."

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

"Thanks for the birthday gift, but what will I do with a gift card to a toy store?"

"Stripes are very unfashionable."