Mini Sommelier T-Shirts

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Just the one...

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Better luck next time, kid."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"House red, sir?"

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

Wine-tasting Tour.

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

Young Houdini

'Whatever happened to swirl, sniff and taste?'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

(I'm tasting berries with deep earth overtones and a definite hint of almond) (That would be the Cyanide.)

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.