Mini Linguist T-Shirts

'He can ask 'what's for dinner' in 10 different languages.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Playdough's The Republic

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

Tabletop Theatre

A baby playing on a grand piano

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'