Mindful Unplugger Pillows

Screen Addiction

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

Yoga To-Do

"How much could your mother bench?"

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Binary Meditation.

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"I recently read 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up'. It's changed my life, minion."

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

Exercise vs Laxative.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

Think/Don't Think

Psychiatry. Did you get in touch with your inner child? Yeah, and now I understand all my apps!

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

Brain versus Religion.

A man uses exercise equipment to open his blinds.

"Technology is addicting, but you're making progress. Now, hit exit - your time was up hours ago."

'Yes, well, in my practice patients are encouraged to express their feeling to the fullest.'

Meditation Munchies

www.meditation.commm