Mind Over Matter Advocates T-Shirts

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

The last Passenger Pigeon

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

Analyst and patient

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'

When psychiatry works too well!

"Let it out. Let it all out."

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

'We tried a mind mapping excercise and found his in a skip next to the A564 in slough.'

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'