Mind Over Matter Advocates T-Shirts

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

The last Passenger Pigeon

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Analyst and patient

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

When psychiatry works too well!

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Let it out. Let it all out."

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

'We tried a mind mapping excercise and found his in a skip next to the A564 in slough.'