Mind Investigator Pillows

'Third one this month. Do you always have to analyze everything to death?'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

X-ray Psychology.

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Don't even think about it."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Lost and Profound.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.