Millennial Bruncher Mugs

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Fur Baby

"He's an indoor cat."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."

Woke Jersey Shore

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

Man bun tending

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"My parents said I could move back into my old room, but they forgot to mention they sold the house 7 years ago."

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

"If he wags his tail, it's a 'Like'."

The Red Cat: Art/Dial a Mouse/The Early Bird.

"The number one concern of all business is uncertainty. I'm pretty certain of that."

"Hi. We're all in the eighteen-to-thirty-four-year-old age group that you're a member of. Come on out and play with us."

British Veto, Continent Isolated.

"Joe 4-Pack"

Millenial Peacock

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven

"The eggs were fine but my name's not Benedict."

"Then she was like...no way! Then he was like, I didn't know, right here? Then everyone was like, yo dude, it's blue!"

People ride an escalator to the gym.

Bored Apathetic Smiley Face Meme

"So then my mom says to me, 'You're 27 years old with a useless degree in French philosophy, a $67,000 student loan debt, living in our basement...you need to get a job and get out on your own!'..."

Renting is so expensive these days, why don't you move back in with your parents?