Milk Alternative Aficionado T-Shirts

"You had me at alternative milk."

Lactose Intolerant

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'How now, brown cow?'

"Gotta love happy hour!"

The Eighth Day of Christmas

Then I rapidly add cream and butter to the sauce. Ah, get rich quick!

Spilled Milk

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

The Magic Float

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

Take me to your lactator!

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

Baby drinking competition

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

The statue of Lactity.

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

Ask Doctor Ernie. Doctor Ernie, what is your opinion of mood altering substances? When it comes to mood-altering substances, you can't beat hot fudge brownies and a glass of milk!

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried - it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.