Mileage Marvel Pillows

'My hybrid car gets better gas mileage than me.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Women in a cross country race

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

I love Harmonica

Health

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

"You see, I told you I could play the bugle and sing at the same time..."

The successful rubbernecker...

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Procrastinator's Leap.

While Desmond was by far the world's fastest marathon runner, his Achilles heel was his wimpiness.

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"By the time Edith thought to complain about her new stairlift, she was already airborne."

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

Team!

Strategic Metals and Non-Strategic Metals.

Dick Van Dyke

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

Soldier, Statesman, Patriot and Pointer

'We're trying to attract the pink pound.'

"Oh my God, the mineral water!"

Rock on!

'I never thought I'd say this, but I think we ran too far this time.'

Jesus on the pro water polo circuit.

'And another thing -- if some of you lot don't get your own wheels soon, I'm joining another bike gang!'

'Yeah...I'm 100!'