Mileage Marvel Pillows

'My hybrid car gets better gas mileage than me.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Women in a cross country race

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Health

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

I love Harmonica

"You see, I told you I could play the bugle and sing at the same time..."

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

The successful rubbernecker...

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Procrastinator's Leap.

"By the time Edith thought to complain about her new stairlift, she was already airborne."

While Desmond was by far the world's fastest marathon runner, his Achilles heel was his wimpiness.

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

Team!

Strategic Metals and Non-Strategic Metals.

Dick Van Dyke

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

Soldier, Statesman, Patriot and Pointer

The Artist 10k. Finish

'We're trying to attract the pink pound.'

"Oh my God, the mineral water!"

Rock on!

Runners at the end of a 'Fun Run'.

'I saw a Rascal Scooter crash into a Hoveround. It all happened so slow.'

'I never thought I'd say this, but I think we ran too far this time.'

Jesus on the pro water polo circuit.

'And another thing -- if some of you lot don't get your own wheels soon, I'm joining another bike gang!'