Midlife Milestones Mugs

"Number 48, "Gents wig, natural look"..."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Church Basement Foodie

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Rock and Roll

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

The best way to prevent sagging is to keep eating until the wrinkles fall out.

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

Male Pattern Baldness

Medication for the elderly

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!