Midlife Crisis Planner Mugs

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"I'm here for the hair."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Quick Spring Fling

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'