Middle School Mentor Gifts

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Reach for the Star.

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Teamwork!

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

An old man growing berries

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'