Middle Class Life Gifts

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

A Balanced budget.

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

Yesh Atid

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

The most sought after profession in 2010 is stressed out, middle class, soccer mom on medical marijuana.

The Recovery

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

"This is not the sort of America I envisioned, Tom-an America in which the middle class has to use public transportation."

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

'Gosh, look mummy, a shampoo named after us!'

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

'Makes you look slimmer.'

"Sigh...I'm getting old."

Hire car is overtaken and dominated by 4x4 'Higher car'.

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

The Sandwich Generation.

Life Begins at 40

"I've just realized that the hair growing out of your ears equals the amount that's receded from your head."

"Something you should bear in mind, James. Sam has recently come into a lot of money."

A middle-aged mid-level executive, middle class, with a mid-size car makes a daring choice...