Middle-age Magician T-Shirts

"Oh, just picking up the pieces of my life after a really traumatic haircut."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

'Dang.'

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

'You know you're 40 when...'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"It's like texting, but for dead people."

'MOM! -- Kevin's sticking pins in my Harry Potter doll!'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

Magician pulling money out of a hat

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

'No batteries needed, but you have to be menopausal to make them work.'

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

Live: Middle Aged Men

Witch updates travel broom.

"Good evening. It's a pleasure to be here addressing you tonight."

Wishing Well - Change given.

Voodoo

Crystal Balls.

'...And just a pince of stem cells.'

'You'll have to hang on a second, dear - I need to re-boot.'

"So, Dianne tells me you work in the realm of the explainable."