Mid-life Milestone T-Shirts

Getting old...

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

'An old-looking guy held the door for me today, and called me 'sir'.'

"Hot flashes?"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Church Basement Foodie

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Rock and Roll

"I'm here for the hair."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The best way to prevent sagging is to keep eating until the wrinkles fall out.

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Medication for the elderly

Male Pattern Baldness

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."