Metaphor Fans Mugs

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

"Staff support"

Reading my Critics

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Going Down?

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

A Poem about Sand

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Out of control

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"He's So Your Type."