Metal Hoarder Pillows

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

James Russell Lowell

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

The gold price chart.

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"My financial advisor says buy gold"

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'Give me all your free pens too!'

Inserts

Piggy banks (five images).

'Get her to sign a pre-nup: You don't want to give her half your treasure if it ends up in a divorce...'

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

Strategic metals vs. non-strategic metals.

"I lost my hunger a long time ago, but luckily, I found my greed."

'Are you eligible to join 'Miser' the high accrue society?'

Ernie, cramming a lifetime's worth of junk into every cupboard, closet and corner of your home makes you a hoarder, not a prepper.

'He's so proud of his art collection.'

Man surrounded by paperclips - 'He just saw them as part of his salary...'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

"Sorry about the clutter. It's been one of those weeks."

I know, it's true - Never go hardware shopping on an empty toolbox. Saw.

"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."

"The last bottle we bought on vacation. I hate to come home and consume all our memories."