Metal Alchemist Gifts

"When we're not casting spells, we cast metals."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Barman In Love.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

'Think outside the seed.'

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

"Garbage in, great books out."

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"Your immortality tonic may not be worth it, Sol."

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

'Cartoonist thinking'