Metabolism Pillows

'It'll never work. Your metabolism rate is higher than mine.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

The Real March of the Penguins.

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

GM Crops Genie.

Preparing for Casual Friday at the Genome Lab

Birthday Cake

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

How DNA molecules combine.

'Love is a Drug'.

Jozef Golonka

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

Always keep your eyes on the ball, Tigers!! Why? I never get to play. Crack. Whack! Any other questions? Will this get me out of practice?

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Hang on, I think we've got a Ring Ding here."

'First we were out-gunned by the criminals...now we're out-dunked at the donut shop!'

Bravo!

Kid to sister about Zamboni (ice smoothing machine): 'Yep, I think we're going to have a snow day.'

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

'Dude, I thought you said they would be topless!'

When Chess Pieces Play Hockey. Penalty Box. They gave me two minutes for checking.

Campus police are dorm troopers.

'That's easy: it's the Match of the Day theme tune.'

Biochemistry. First, the term is "amino acid" not "a mean old acid."

Unknown to the rest of the world, members of the scientific community have been making their own babies to order for quite some time now.

Ronald Reagan

'...well Martha's just converting some alcohol to acetaldehyde and then to acetate, and then to CO2 and water but I can get her to call you later...'

'The league got tired of the fights, so they now make them battle it out over a poker game. The games are now 16 hours long.'